OT I have lost and I have seen faith, where do I go from here?

[PassthePeas]

Sorry for the OT.. trying to reach out to someone...anyone. On The 21st of October, we were asleep in the fire house when we were woken with an all call that a brother/firefighter had passed away 30 minutes earlier. He was 39, and his life was cut short because of a brain tumor. He was the one that rode my ass in the fire academy. Get 'er done or else... His funeral was today. I was a mess, but watched his family, to include his mom and dad and wife... they were strong, and even smiled some. This makes me think that they have an incredible amount of faith... How do I get there? Rest well Kip...we've got it brother....

 

[Calgon1]

My Sister ...

How do you get there? Only with time. Never forget. Always keep the faith. God Bless you Dona.

And God Bless Kip ....

John Steinke
Fire Chaplain
Clinton Fire Department

(aka: Calgon)

 

[Hucc]

passthepeas, as someone with a brain tumor, I can speak of how I found greater faith; probably in a similar way as Kip and family. One way is to pray a lot.

It's hard, but you need to turn this over to your higher power. Find a church (temple, or whatever your higher power belief system is) or other faith-based community where you can be with other people who are also trying to grow their faith. Pick up a bible or other spiritual scripture.

Do you have the EWTN network (eternal word television network)? If so, there are some pretty good programs on there that discuss faith, scripture, God, etc.. It's a Catholic channel and the shows are mostly done by nuns and priest. And, although I am not Catholic per se, I found it all a great learning experience. Father Groeschel has a good show called "Sunday Night Live".

If you seek, you shall find.

I've prayed for you and Kip. And feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat. God bless you, Dona P-T-P!

 

[reggae]

God bless you Dona, at this sad time....

You have been given some good advice here from Calgon and Hucc, and you will get there.....

You will miss your friend, and he will always be with you in your heart and in memories of happier times gone by.

 

[spinkens]

The first thing that comes to my mind is Proverbs 3: 5,6. I am sorry for your loss and hope you find the peace of the Lord that only He can give. I'll be praying for you.

 

[rooy]

gosh, i'm so sorry about your friend. calgon is right about the 'time'
part of healing. i lost my two best friends within a two year period and it was just devastating. it seemed the pain would never stop.

gradually, i was able to focus on all the things these two friends had contributed to my life and the healing began. i still get terribly sad sometimes, but i always end up smiling about them.

faith is a slippery slope at times; i just figure i don't have any choice and that sort of puts things in perspective. hang in there and be kind to yourself. it will get easier - i promise.

 

[korinalacount]

Faith is the love and stamina your friend gave you.

Faith is the unconditional love he also gave you and God as well.

Faith is that someday you will join your friend with God and be together in peace and love.

Faith is friends who will pull you thru,know its us who hurt and need help not your friend,he is at peace,and what Calgon and Hucc said are so true!

Many hugs during this very rough time to you Dona,and much love.

 

[nieciez]

Oh Dona, I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your friend and mentor. Calgon and Hucc said it all, just know that we are hear for you. You, Kip and his family are in my prayers.

 

[Donna - dsw]

So sorry for your loss. May you find the peace and comfort you need at this time. It is hard - but you must believe and remember - - - they are much better off now! They are the lucky ones!

 

[BostonsJ]

Oh Dona you are in a profession where you see so much suffering and you are a a resuer, a doer. Having been in the same profession for quite a few years I know how you are feeling. One of the last things a rescuer can cope with is losing someone. Especially a brother.

I believe what you saw in this family was faith, peace, and celebration of the man's life. They had walked a process, a process I myself walked 16 years ago. And while I was angry and tried to throw God out of my life at that time, he walked with me and stayed by my side until I could once again hear him. Dealing with a terminal illness brings out the best, the strengths and if you are blessed you share a peace and a very strong love in those final days and months. It humbles you, I know it did me.

I see two types of families every day at the mortuary. Those with faith that they some day will be reunited with their loved one, and those that feel totally angry, without consolation and without that peace. I really believe that Faith is the difference.

I have in my favorites box two inspirational links. When I have a really difficult day and when I have a case that really upsets me, playing these videos helps me remember I am not alone.

The first is entitled The Interview with God. The second, I was there.

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/

http://www.passionup.com/fun/fun4528.htm

Hugs Dona.

 

[elliottsmama]

I am going to be very honest here. I do believe in God, very much so. But there has always been a part of me that is waiting to be like others..the good people who have no doubt. I keep thinking one day it will just happen. And I do pray but my belief is that before you are born, your life is mapped out....So I cannot tell you what you need to do, I do not know. I do however know that your friends seemed strong because when you are in a situation such as theirs or mine, you would be so surprised at what you are capable of as a human being. And of course, you are not seeing them when they are alone, a time when I am sure they are not smiling. I have seen your compassion on this board for my son. Please do not sell yourself short my dear. You are a very very good person. Take some of the advice given to you by your friends here and please contact me if you would like. So many have offered me help and I am very anxious to return the favor when I am able.

 

[GloBug]

I can tell you what my very smart DD told me when she was in the 4th grade... You put your trust in the Lord, you trust Him to love you, and you trust that He carries you through all you go through...and THAT'S why it's called Faith!

I also had a hard time finding it, until doctors discovered I had breast lumps. Before my surgery, I didn't know if I had cancer, and I was afraid that if I did, I would never see my daughter grow up. The night before my surgery, I was walking into her bedroom to watch her sleep, and as I was crying, I heard a voice say, YOU WILL SEE HER GROW UP, EITHER BY HER SIDE OR MINE.

I was suddenly enveloped by a feeling of love and peace, and realized I had finally found my faith. Or perhaps faith had found me.

It's there in you, and it will find you.

Peace, my friend.

 

[PassthePeas]

I am crying again.. but now it's because I just found out I'm not alone. Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for the kind words, encouragement and advice. You all here are the most incredible people, and I am proud to call you my friends. Dona

 

[JacquieP]

You pray until you're tired, and then pray some more. The strength will come! Keep remembering that you have lots more good things to do in this world and be consoled that your friend knows how much you care.

 

[cycofan]

We often learn the most about ourselves and our faith in the most trying times. We lost a son nearly 12 years ago, and I was so angry with God I was ready to throw in the towel. Slowly, He used that experience to completely transform who I am as a person. When I was ready for Him, He was there with his plan. Take your time - being sad and angry is OK, and when you are ready, God will be there for you.

My prayers for you, your friend and his family. Hang in there!

 

[Cricket]

We are all God's children and we look to God for answers, but just as children do, we want things that we may never get because God, who is our father will ultimately decide what is best for us. Keep your faith very simple, you are the child He is the Father, let him lead you, follow him and you will find the peace you need. Hand over all your emotions, fears to Him, let Him do it all.I learned that after a long time of hunting for answers by going to doctors and specialists for my DD and guess what , it was God who led me to the answer. If nothing else, just imagine not having God to lean on and look up to for answers, how scared I would be not to have Him, I would feel totally lost and very afraid. Our faith is so tested when things are going badly in our lives. We become stronger during trying times, even though we may not realize it. Believe me when I tell you that those who have an incredible amount of faith, also at times are weak. This is very understandable and you too will have your ups and downs in faith, we all do! Don't put those highly faithful people on a pedalstall because they are human. God loves you just the way you are!You know as God is our father, He understands there will be times when we are angry with him, and lose our temper with him, but as the perfect Father that he is, he will always have his arms stretched out wide to give us that hug of love, just like a human father does.

 

[MARIPOSA]

Dona, faith and trust seem to go hand in hand. When I was first diagnosed with cancer I really found out what simple faith meant to me. For years now I have believed in my head that God would take care of all of my needs, and sure enough, whenever I didn't see how things could possibly work out, He always intervened and made everything 'safe' again for me. I truly believe that if my cancer had spread and had become terminal, I would have been able to remain calm because I learned to trust God to give me peace and comfort, no matter what I was going through. Can you imagine my own surprise when I sometimes found myself praying that if I was going to suffer a whole lot of pain and eventually die from this cancer, please let me go quickly so that I could finally have that very long rest that I craved so much???

I shared lots of things from my cancer journals here on the board, but most of them were very uplifting and positive. To be honest, I spent many long and lonely nights feeling very discouraged and weak, both physically and emotionally. Then I CHOSE to let God sooth my fears and calm my spirit. WOW, did He do a great job. I learned to lay quietly in my bed each night and practice deep breathing. I would mentally picture myself slowly exhaling all of my stress and fears and those darn cancer cells. Then I would take very deep, slow breaths and inhale God's love and warmth and peace. Talk about letting go of stress.

Then I actually pictured myself climbing into God's lap as He sat there rocking in this giant rocing chair in a dark corner of my room. I let myself FEEL His arms around me as He gently rocked me until I felt as peaceful as a little child who is loved and cherished by her Daddy and this is how I fell asleep many nights. You see Dona, He is my Daddy and if I ask Him to comfort me He will. He may not make the storm go away, but He always gives me the strength and peace to ride out that storm. I have really learned to trust God because life can be soo discouraging and empty without Him. With Him I have joy, even during those darkest hours.

I'll bet that if you ask God to show you in some very simple ways how much He really cares for you, then you can Just watch and listen to everything going on around you in your life right now, and you will be amazed at what you find. Then you will be able to have the faith in Him that you desire and you too can have that same peace.

You may notice that I talk about having fear and being very discouraged at times, as well as having joy and peace other times. We all go through these ups and downs at one time or other, no matter how strong our faith is. That's cuz we let our eyes focus on 'things' instead of on Him.

Hugs to you Dona as you search for inner peace my friend. Mariposa

 

[Sharkin]

When I feel my faith wavering, I try to act as though it is as strong as ever. I also did this before my faith had the strength it does today. In other words, "Fake it until you make it".