Wal-Mart application

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ShipMaven

Guest
Haven't checked this on Snopes...regardless of whether or not it's true, it gave me a chuckle. Hope it does the same for you...


This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizensubmitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

They hired him because he was so funny.....


NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old B*****d)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one
who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky,
I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer
and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would
be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already
be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm
the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock!
 
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Bruce

Guest
Now this is a true story. When I was working, the big joke was, when I retired I was going to get a job as the WalMart Greeter.
Well, we moved to the mountains on NC and there was this WalMart....TA DA, my dream job awaits.

Slight problem, the current greeter was Elmer. Elmer was 93, showed no signs of retiring, leaving, passing on. We had to show Elmer where the carts were.

I waited him out for a couple of years, till we moved again... he was still going when we left.
 
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shadoesmom

Guest
My DH practices all the time for his future job (when he retires - again) "Hi! Welcome to WalMart. Would you like a cart?"

In fact, he says it better then some present greeters. Some don't even speak to you when you walk in - AND THEN - you have to dig out your own cart.
 
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maw

Guest
Sure wish they had replaced the one at Wally World this afternoon( grouchy old guy). It griped him to have to get Paw a scooter.
 
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