C
conniecat
Guest
Suicide Blonde
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
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Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.
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Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?
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Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
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Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
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Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
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This Is my favorite blonde joke of all time. I probably have posted it before, I just like to retell it!
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.
"Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator.
"Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies.
"Okay, where do you live?"
"In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies.
"No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks fustratedly.
"Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This Is my favorite blonde joke of all time. I probably have posted it before, I just like to retell it!
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.
"Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator.
"Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies.
"Okay, where do you live?"
"In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies.
"No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks fustratedly.
"Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
